we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
