It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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