is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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