Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
