id be glad to
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.