Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!