Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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