Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
