i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
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My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
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I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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