Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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