there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!