I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
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Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
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Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.