There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
