they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
