that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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