Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
