did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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