Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
