I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
