Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
