Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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