Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
