DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
