would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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