i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
