watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
