it wasn't lemon gatorade
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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