the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
