he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
