so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
