I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
