I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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