How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
