he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
