ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
