We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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