Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
