My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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