So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
