I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
