The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
