Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Randomize
