I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
