i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I don't deserve a penis
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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