My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
