Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I think I have vodka in my lungs
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
