it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
