At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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