I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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