:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
