I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
