Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
