Texts From Last Night

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  (760): View more from California

  have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive

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  (760): have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive http://tfl.nu/u0dx
  Replies (55) Good night (4486) Bad night (677)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  What's this douchebags name?

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Rob...

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  (908): He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!" (973): What's this douchebags name? (908): Rob... http://tfl.nu/raez
  Replies (67) Good night (7738) Bad night (3854)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.

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  (513): We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case. http://tfl.nu/f3uf
  Replies (17) Good night (3855) Bad night (877)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  You're barking up the wrong lesbian.

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  (715): You're barking up the wrong lesbian. http://tfl.nu/4ul9
  Replies (11) Good night (4330) Bad night (1135)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?

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  (917): Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night? http://tfl.nu/29mg
  Replies (11) Good night (3802) Bad night (1376)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.

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  (773): NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU. http://tfl.nu/h1az
  Replies (10) Good night (2286) Bad night (847)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....

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  (540): I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name.... http://tfl.nu/37ao
  Replies (8) Good night (1134) Bad night (3313)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha

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  (724): You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha http://tfl.nu/w49q
  Replies (2) Good night (834) Bad night (1030)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.

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  (479): I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him. http://tfl.nu/81m9
  Replies (9) Good night (1528) Bad night (544)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.

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  (616): She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs. http://tfl.nu/e8xn
  Replies (6) Good night (1975) Bad night (687)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.

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  (303): His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed. http://tfl.nu/yv11
  Replies (8) Good night (3579) Bad night (966)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.

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  (203): Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it. http://tfl.nu/pgje
  Replies (10) Good night (1280) Bad night (637)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance

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  (850): It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance http://tfl.nu/dt1j
  Replies (6) Good night (408) Bad night (803)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.

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  (503): That's always how I imagine things at your apartment... (541): Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here. http://tfl.nu/wx1r
  Replies (0) Good night (642) Bad night (285)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.

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  (306): my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets. http://tfl.nu/lsez
  Replies (2) Good night (448) Bad night (263)

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