Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.

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  (515): This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot. http://tfl.nu/nttq
  Replies (8) Good night (2541) Bad night (503)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.

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  (917): Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist. http://tfl.nu/5y9j
  Replies (0) Good night (620) Bad night (1874)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed

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  (503): I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed http://tfl.nu/wtld
  Replies (55) Good night (1015) Bad night (6331)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.

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  (847): Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels. http://tfl.nu/hv8u
  Replies (13) Good night (7054) Bad night (1060)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Have you been tested recently?

  (1-520): View more from Arizona

  Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune

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  (520): Have you been tested recently? (1-520): Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune http://tfl.nu/i2uj
  Replies (16) Good night (1256) Bad night (7270)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up

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  (630): I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up http://tfl.nu/11fq
  Replies (3) Good night (2261) Bad night (994)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors

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  (810): i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors http://tfl.nu/jlfm
  Replies (4) Good night (1883) Bad night (828)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.

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  (610): He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick. http://tfl.nu/upxm
  Replies (5) Good night (945) Bad night (3532)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?

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  (847): What sexual position says im sorry for your loss? http://tfl.nu/sjhl
  Replies (26) Good night (2308) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?

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  (210): Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting? http://tfl.nu/he3z
  Replies (6) Good night (1104) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.

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  (404): It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk. http://tfl.nu/mcgf
  Replies (3) Good night (905) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.

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  (570): it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing. http://tfl.nu/57qo
  Replies (4) Good night (850) Bad night (408)
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  (310): View more from California

  He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.

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  (310): He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing. http://tfl.nu/4uvb
  Replies (1) Good night (691) Bad night (279)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?

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  (+61): Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace? http://tfl.nu/wr2n
  Replies (4) Good night (775) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?

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  (651): Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat? http://tfl.nu/25mc
  Replies (6) Good night (311) Bad night (794)

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