we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
