My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
