are you still at the devil's house?
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
