Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
