he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
