And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
