new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i dont even know how to be here
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
