I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
should my penis look like a turkey
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
