my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
