she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
