i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
