we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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