gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
