I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
