Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
