her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
