Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
