he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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